A 21st Century A&P

He stood in line at the cheap, fluorescent white and green grocery store, waiting for his turn in the Express Lane (12 Items or Less). He was cradling a gallon of milk (purple cap, 1%) in his arms, holding a Pepperidge Farm Family Size White Bread in one hand, a dozen eggs in a white Styrofoam container in the other, and balancing an unbelievably yellow "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" between the three. A short, elderly Cuban lady, well dressed and well poised, stood in front of him. At the front of the line stood a wild old white lady, complete with black tights, dark red bandanna, dark turtleneck, and neon green purse. He assumed from her looks that she was rich, but had been running a few pennies short of a dollar (mentally) in her later years. As she moved forward to pay, the Cuban lady moved her cart just a couple of inches too far, and hit her. She muttered in Spanish, "Lo siento," but she might as well have shouted "Viva la revolucion."

The White Devil (he decided it was a deserved title) began shrieking, ranting about respect and claiming that immigrants should "learn the goddamn language." Her cries were so loud that the people at the lottery counter on the other side of the store peered over, rubbernecking for a look at the freak show. The milk carton was cold in his arms, which were starting to go numb. The shouting changed focus, as the Devil Lady started shouting "You're ugly! You're ugly! Look at you! Look at how much prettier I am than you!" Throughout all of this, the Cuban lady kept her poise, staring straight ahead as if the cover of TV Guide would get her through this. The Devil Lady walked out, still ranting, and he and the cashier shot each other looks of combined disbelief at what had happened, and relief that it was over. He quietly hoped that old age would be better to him.